About

Søren Nygaard is a pen name. Everything else here is real.

I’ve lived in many places and lost large things more than once — a career, a marriage, people. Each time I rebuilt, and over the years the rebuilding stopped being an emergency and became something closer to a craft. This site is where I write that craft down.

My tools, in rough order of importance: a nondual view of how reality works, decades of meditation, deliberate and disciplined psilocybin work, a body kept in good order, and rooms full of people in a good state. None of this is offered as advice. It’s offered as a working example — one person’s method, tested on his own life, described precisely.

I wrote most of these essays on a veranda above the rice fields of Bali, in the months after my second marriage ended. They were published later, from the other side.

The comments are open, and I read them. If what you find here is useful, start here.